I tell you what, I'm glad I started this journaling device. I need to start recording conversations so I can transcribe things later on, the insanity of this life is too much to really recap.

The wife called me up and wanted to vent, because even though she's leaving me, I'm the only person that really gets her or some shit. The conversation that unfolded belongs in a museum somewhere. Of all the many topics discussed, my scrambled seizure brain will try to relay some of this hilarity.

The ex is leaving his fiance to move her out to England, his one true love that he never got over. This will involve leaving his fiance and extraditing her from the home they own together. He's annoying and she doesn't love him, but she feels his should is more aligned with hers. I'm all she's ever wanted but we're both just too different and our goals are too disparate. She discovered a few years ago that.... She sometimes has very intense feelings, like "soul orgasms." They were induced by thoughts of me a few times early on and following the marriage, but they usually revolve around him. She had been thinking of leaving me for years, but kept it going for no reason and wound up marrying me. A couple months later she knew she wanted to end it but didn't until the final moment was an eruption of rage. She's afraid he's going to not be the one and she'll get stranded in England, but thinks maybe if she gets settled she can smuggle me over there for free healthcare and cuck him.

I'm not really sure how much more I can rattle off from atop my head right now, but clearly she'll be in a psyche ward soon. Tumor-induced delirium or not, I'm pretty alarmed that I've allowed my life to become a very special presentation from Lifetime.